I created this site for the World Muay Thai Federation- Philippines but it is still under construction
another very informative truth…
According to a new book, there are 237 reasons why women have sex. And most of them have little to do with romance or pleasure. Perfect symmetry: Brad Pitt and Geena Davis in Thelma and Louise.
Do you want to know why women have sex with men with tiny little feet? I am stroking a book called Why Women Have Sex. It is by Cindy Meston, a clinical psychologist, and David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist. It is a very thick, bulging book. I’ve never really wondered Why Women Have Sex. But after years of not asking the question, the answer is splayed before me.
Meston and Buss have interviewed 1,006 women from all over the world about their sexual motivation, and in doing so they have identified 237 different reasons why women have sex. Not 235. Not 236. But 237. And what are they? From the reams of confessions, it emerges that women have sex for physical, emotional and material reasons; to boost their self-esteem, to keep their lovers, or because they are raped or coerced. Love? That’s just a song. We are among the bad apes now.
Why, I ask Meston, have people never really talked about this? Alfred Kinsey, the “father” of sexology, asked 7,985 people about their sexual histories in the 1940s and 50s; Masters and Johnson observed people having orgasms for most of the 60s. But they never asked why. Why?
“People just assumed the answer was obvious,” Meston says. “To feel good. Nobody has really talked about how women can use sex for all sorts of resources.” She rattles off a list and as she says it, I realise I knew it all along: “promotion, money, drugs, bartering, for revenge, to get back at a partner who has cheated on them. To make themselves feel good. To make their partners feel bad.” Women, she says, “can use sex at every stage of the relationship, from luring a man into the relationship, to try and keep a man so he is fulfilled and doesn’t stray. Duty. Using sex to get rid of him or to make him jealous.”
“We never ever expected it to be so diverse,” she says. “From the altruistic to the borderline evil.” Evil? “Wanting to give someone a sexually transmitted infection,” she explains. I turn to the book. I am slightly afraid of it. Who wants to have their romantic fantasies reduced to evolutional processes?
The first question asked is: what thrills women? Or, as the book puts it: “Why do the faces of Antonio Banderas and George Clooney excite so many women?”
We are, apparently, scrabbling around for what biologists call “genetic benefits” and “resource benefits”. Genetic benefits are the genes that produce healthy children. Resource benefits are the things that help us protect our healthy children, which is why women sometimes like men with big houses. Jane Eyre, I think, can be read as a love letter to a big house.
“When a woman is sexually attracted to a man because he smells good, she doesn’t know why she is sexually attracted to that man,” says Buss. “She doesn’t know that he might have a MHC gene complex complimentary to hers, or that he smells good because he has symmetrical features.”
So Why Women Have Sex is partly a primer for decoding personal ads. Tall, symmetrical face, cartoonish V-shaped body? I have good genes for your brats. Affluent, GSOH – if too fond of acronyms – and kind? I have resource benefits for your brats. I knew this already; that is how Bill Clinton got sex, despite his astonishing resemblance to a moving potato. It also explains why Vladimir Putin has become a sex god and poses topless with his fishing rod.
Then I learn why women marry accountants; it’s a trade-off. “Clooneyish” men tend to be unfaithful, because men have a different genetic agenda from women – they want to impregnate lots of healthy women. Meston and Buss call them “risk-taking, womanising ‘bad boys'”.So, women might use sex to bag a less dazzling but more faithful mate. He will have fewer genetic benefits but more resource benefits that he will make available, because he will not run away. This explains why women marry accountants. Accountants stick around – and sometimes they have tiny little feet!
And so to the main reason women have sex. The idol of “women do it for love, and men for joy” lies broken on the rug like a mutilated sex toy: it’s orgasm, orgasm, orgasm. “A lot of women in our studies said they just wanted sex for the pure physical pleasure,” Meston says. Meston and Buss garnish this revelation with so much amazing detail that I am distracted. I can’t concentrate. Did you know that the World Health Organisation has a Women’s Orgasm Committee? That “the G-spot” is named after the German physician Ernst GrÃ¤fenberg? That there are 26 definitions of orgasm?
And so, to the second most important reason why women have sex – love. “Romantic love,” Meston and Buss write, “is the topic of more than 1,000 songs sold on iTunes.” And, if people don’t have love, terrible things can happen, in literature and life: “Cleopatra poisoned herself with a snake and Ophelia went mad and drowned.” Women say they use sex to express love and to get it, and to try to keep it.
Love:an insurance policy
And what is love? Love is apparently a form of “long-term commitment insurance” that ensures your mate is less likely to leave you, should your legs fall off or your ovaries fall out. Take that, Danielle Steele – you may think you live in 2009 but your genes are still in the stone age, with only chest hair between you and a bloody death. We also get data which confirms that, due to the chemicals your brain produces – dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine – you are, when you are in love, technically what I have always suspected you to be – mad as Stalin.
And is the world mad? According to surveys, which Meston and Buss helpfully whip out from their inexhaustible box of every survey ever surveyed, 73% of Russian women are in love, and 63% of Japanese women are in love. What percentage of women in north London are in love, they know not. But not as many men are in love. Only 61% of Russian men are in love and only 41% of Japanese men are in love. Which means that 12% of Russian women and 22% of Japanese women are totally wasting their time.
And then there is sex as man-theft. “Sometimes men who are high in mate value are in relationships or many of them simply pursue a short-term sexual strategy and don’t want commitment,” Buss explains. “There isn’t this huge pool of highly desirable men just sitting out there waiting for women.” It’s true. So how do we liberate desirable men from other women? We “mate poach”. And how do we do that? We “compete to embody what men want” – high heels to show off our pelvises, lip-gloss to make men think about vaginas, and we see off our rivals with slander. We spread gossip – “She’s easy!” – because that makes the slandered woman less inviting to men as a long-term partner. She may get short-term genetic benefits but she can sing all night for the resource benefits, like a cat sitting out in the rain. Then – then! – the gossiper mates with the man herself.
We also use sex to “mate guard”. I love this phrase. It is so evocative an image – I can see a man in a cage, and a woman with a spear and a bottle of baby oil. Women regularly have sex with their mates to stop them seeking it elsewhere. Mate guarding is closely related to “a sense of duty”, a popular reason for sex, best expressed by the Meston and Buss interviewee who says: “Most of the time I just lie there and make lists in my head. I grunt once in a while so he knows I’m awake, and then I tell him how great it was when it’s over. We are happily married.”
Women often mate guard by flaunting healthy sexual relationships. “In a very public display of presumed rivalry,” Meston writes, “in 2008 singer and actress Jessica Simpson appeared with her boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, wearing a shirt with the tagline Real Girls Eat Meat. Fans interpreted it as a competitive dig at Romo’s previous mate, who is a vegetarian.”
Meston and Buss also explain why the girls in my class at school went down like dominoes in 1990. One week we were maidens, the following week, we were not. We were, apparently, having sex to see if we liked it, so we could tell other schoolgirls that we had done it and to practise sexual techniques: “As a woman I don’t want to be a dead fish,” says one female. Another interviewee wanted to practise for her wedding night.
The authors lubricate this with a description of the male genitalia, again food themed. I include it because I am immature. “In Masters & Johnson’s  study of over 300 flaccid penises the largest was 5.5 inches long (about the size of a bratwurst sausage); the smallest non-erect penis was 2.25 inches (about the size of a breakfast sausage).”
Ever had sex out of pity and wondered why? “Women,” say Meston and Buss, “for the most part, are the ones who give soup to the sick, cookies to the elderly and . . . sex to the forlorn.” “Tired, but he wanted it,” says one female. Pause for more amazing detail: fat people are more likely to stay in a relationship because no one else wants them.
Women also mate to get the things they think they want – drugs, handbags, jobs, drugs. “The degree to which economics plays out in sexual motivations, ” Buss says, “surprised me. Not just prostitution. Sex economics plays out even in regular relationships. Women have sex so that the guy would mow the lawn or take out the garbage. You exchange sex for dinner.” He quotes some students from the University of Michigan. It is an affluent university, but 9% of students said they had “initiated an attempt to trade sex for some tangible benefit”.
Then there is sex to feel better. Women use sex to cure their migraines. This is explained by the release of endormorphins during sex – they are a pain reliever. Sex can even help relieve period pains. (Why are periods called periods? Please, someone tell me. Write in.)
Women also have sex because they are raped, coerced or lied to, although we have defences against deception – men will often copulate on the first date, women on the third, so they will know it is love (madness). Some use sex to tell their partner they don’t want them any more – by sleeping with somebody else. Some use it to feel desirable; some to get a new car. There are very few things we will not use sex for. As Meston says, “Women can use sex at every stage of the relationship. ”
And there you have it – most of the reasons why women have sex, although, as Meston says, “There are probably a few more.” Probably. Before I read this book I watched women eating men in ignorance. Now, when I look at them, I can hear David Attenborough talking in my head: “The larger female is closing in on her prey. The smaller female has been ostracised by her rival’s machinations, and slinks away.” The complex human race has been reduced in my mind to a group of little apes, running around, rutting and squeaking.
I am not sure if I feel empowered or dismayed. I thought that my lover adored me. No – it is because I have a symmetrical face. “I love you so much,” he would say, if he could read his evolutionary impulses, “because you have a symmetrical face!” “Oh, how I love the smell of your compatible genes!” I would say back. “Symmetrical face!” “Compatible genes!” “Symmetrical face!” “Compatible genes!” And so we would osculate (kiss). I am really just a monkey trying to survive. I close the book.
I think I knew that.
THE BASICS OF CASH FLOW
There are those who e-mailed me asking about the basics of cash flow. I’m really sorry that I assumed everybody already understands it. Anyway, by demand … here it goes…
May isang bata… joke lang.
The basic is. What pattern do you see if you will get a P100.00 bill and monitor where and how it is transferred from 1 possessor to the other? How does it flow? The pattern for a typical Pinoy is.
You earn from your work, you spend it on food, gadgets, clothing and other basic needs. Before you reach the next payday, paubos na yung pera mo. But that’s ok payday is just a few days ahead and it doesn’t matter if I run out of money, I am expecting money again any time soon.
This cycle goes on and on and you make some sidelines or create other ways to earn but it seems that money was never enough. (I am tempted to explain further pero usapan… basics lang).
So you can’t leave the job that you have because a week without work would affect the cash flow you have to support your family and needs. As much as you wanted to accept another job, the gap would make you pay less for a couple of days, which makes you a slave to your boss.
At least, you have a job to support your needs.
So to illustrate.. .Cash is flowing inside your pocket.
Years have gone by doing your monotonous routine.
Question… what if you get fired? Or you were forced to retire because there are new and younger people ready to take your place. What would you do?
As an OFW, Executive, Top Salesman, Engineer, Attorney, Teacher, etc… What if it all ends? The sweet cash that enters your pocket every 15 th and 30th suddenly comes to a halt.
There are two things you can buy with your money… An asset and a liability. To describe each… An asset brings money inside your pocket; a liability takes money out of your pocket. Another way to see, it is that an asset if you buy one, will bring the money you spent for it back to you 2 or 3 folds. A liability, when you buy it will not give your money back at all.
Sa ilocano… idjay ti kwa… djak maawatan… (joke lang po, seryoso na kayo eh…)
Sa madaling salita… kapag asset, maibabalik ang pera , pag liability, goodbye sa pera…
Ang problema kay JUAN DE LA CRUZ, habang may trabaho ipon ng ipon at bili ng bili ng liability!
I have seen OFWs get back to the country with gold chains at kung pwede lang limang shades ang isuot ng sabay-sabay gagawin nya eh… dvd, component, jackets, clothes, inuman, pulutan, party, pabango… hindi na makalakad sa dami ng bitbit…
At s’yempre mga empleyado natin dito sa bansa na lingo-lingo bago cell phone at mags ng kotse.. hindi na nga magkasya ang damit sa aparador, tapos pag umaga sasabihin… . wala na akong maisuot.
Guys, esep-esep… what you bought… will it bring money back to you? I know what you have in mind… you have to enjoy what you worked hard for. That’s right, but think of something that will last… think of your future.
I have seen the worst of people who were abogado de kampanilya, executive secretaries of top rank business men, people who worked for big companies, earned a fortune and got a big retirement pay by the millions… Now…. Wala na.
Why? Because of their cash flow… went in… went out.
I need not to mention basketball players, actors, singers, etc… Check what is their career path… next after acting, singing and playing… POLITICS. Kasi, ‘yung million na kinita nila, puro liability ang binili.
Going back… all the liability they bought, ibinenta ng mura! I’m wearing a gold chain now, which I got from a seaman… he bought it for P35,000 and sold it for 8,000 to me. Hindi po asset ang alahas! Bakit? Totoo na tumataas ang value n’ya pero kapag gutom ka na, kahit palugi ibebenta mo! (wala bang aaray?) Cell phones… dvd players etc. pati bahay at kotse… that’s the cash flow of most OFWs…
The question is … “ WHAT IF THE INCOME STOPS?”
Sa Pinoy, ganito: anak… mag-aral kang maigi, at pag tanda namin… ikaw na bahala sa amin ha…. Hindi po ba maling-mali. ..
You have to establish something today that will take care of your future.
Teka, teka… eh ano ang dapat gawin para hindi mangyari yan?
You must create a source of income that will continually make money flow inside your pocket. Start a business! While you are working as an executive or an OFW, or a professional. .. START A BUSINESS and MASTER that business till you get out of that company. Para kapag tumigil ang income mo sa kanila… may susuporta pa din sa iyo hanggang pag-tanda mo!
Now don’t tell me to invest my money on pensions and plans… NO WAY ! Narinig n’yo na siguro yung …. Naku ayaw ko na magbanggit.. .. ‘yung mga nagbayad at hindi nakapag-claim. .. sila pa ang dinimanda at nag-piyansa! !! HUWAG I-ASA ANG PAGTANDA SA IBA! GUMAWA KA NG SARILI MONG BALON NG PERA! KAHIT MALIIT PA ‘YAN, SARILI MO AT HINDI KA AASA SA IBANG TAO…
Imagine yourself when you reach an older age… (aruy ko,,, baka yung iba sa inyo about that age… tabi tabi po…Ako po sa mga nagtatanong. .. I’m 37 years old. Naabutan ko pa si Michael Jackson at hinele po ako ng nanay ko sa mga kanta ng hagibis…). You have money that the company gave you as your retirement pay… what will you do?
You can consume the money till your old… eh kung hindi umabot? Masamang damo ka pala… at hindi ka kaagad kinuha ni Lord. Eh pang age 65 lang yung naipon mo na budget.
Or maybe, you can start a business and use the money for capital… Kapatid… 9 out of 10 businesses, FAILED… yung isang magsa-succeed, gagayahin pa ng kapitbahay mo instead na mag-franchise sa ‘yo… think! At age 50, you are struggling trying to make a business work! What if it fails?!
Eh ano nga ba ang sagot?
The answer is, stop buying liabilities and instead buy assets now. I don’t care if it is a banana-Q store, balot, ice candy or a sari-sari store, etc… start now! Because, your experience here will teach you what to do in the future. It’s so hard to struggle in business when you are 60 yrs old.
You have to create a source of income separated from the source of income from your work. That when the time comes that you have to stop working, you will have your own source of money! Create assets, start a business that will be there to support you and your family. I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB! I’m telling you to start a business while you’re working and stop spending your money on liabilities and start putting them on assets!
Ang pera kapag pinambili mo ng LIABILITY… hindi na babalik… ang ASSET… BABALIK.
Teka… masama ba bumili ng mga magagandang gamit? Hindi! Siguraduhin mo lang na ang pambili mo nun ay galing sa asset mo. The business has to be prioritized! Mawalan ka man ng trabaho, may negosyo kang palalaguin.
If before, nabubuhay ka naman ng iisa sapatos mo, huwag mo baguhin ‘yun… dati, nagdyi-jeep ka lang… ‘wag ka na munang mag-FX…
Create assets and lessen liabilities. Invest and learn now… mag-negosyo!
Eh anong negosyo? Any, as long as you think it is work and doable! I am still looking for partners for my HOME MASSAGE SERVICE! SPA MAGIC! And my business CAR MAGIC is still franchising. .. (joke lang … baka sabihin nyo nag pro-promote lang ako eh…But I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT ALL MY BUSINESSES ARE ORIGINAL AND ALL ARE GRAND ASSETS!
I started all my businesses with a very small capital. If I used that money to buy a gadget, new shoes or any liability… baka wala lahat ng negosyo ko at wala na akong makain ngayon.
Again, I hope that this BASIC CASH FLOW article helps…. I wish all of us become financially free!
FROM AN UNKNOWN AUTHOR
Galing nito may matutunan kayo..hhihihi
I created sample wedding intro or end credit..
HD link from vimeo